Take Heart!

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“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” {John 16:33}

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand
Trust His Heart.

As a parent, I’ve realized that I can’t keep my kids from getting hurt.  Sixth grade has had some rocky moments for my girl.  Her friends running from her.  That moment she realizes it’s her they are running from.  That moment she replays what happens to me and I well up big alligator tears for her.  As a parent, you want to protect your babies. But, at the end of the day, it’s not my fault she’s been hurt.

It is, however, my response, as a mom, to love and comfort and hold my daughter close and make sure that home is the best, softest place it can be for her.  Last week, my daughter, this week, my mother.

It is my response, as a daughter, to make my mom’s life as easy as I can, with what I have right now.  It is God’s response, as a Father, to send His people reaching out to hold, love, comfort, and soften the sharp edges of the world for my mama.   It is not God’s fault my mom has cancer.

Cancer.

Tumors vivid on the MRI.  First, just four, but then more, and a few more. And, something that looks like “rind” on the liver.  Bad cancer.  Between the chest wall and her liver, very difficult to remove.  Even if we do surgery, chemotherapy, the doctor assures us, repeatedly, the cancer is coming back.  “The cancer is not going to stop.  We will never get rid of the cancer.  By ‘rid’ I mean, “cure.””  Over and over.

God might take my mama home to heaven this time.  It is sad.  And, I am selfish.  And, I want more time.  I want her to have a good life before she goes, because surely, this can’t be it.  I haven’t given her everything I want to give her yet.  What about the girls?  Will Tripp remember her now?  Will D’Ann be okay?  Surely, I can’t do this without my mom.  My brain can’t process this.  I pray and I sleep and wake up too early.

New peace from the Spirit.  Jesus doesn’t ask me to understand it.  He’d actually cry with me if he were here (John 11:35).  But, scripture says, “TAKE HEART!”  Heart.  His heart.  Can I trust this guy?  Do I?  I want to.  I cannot trust a lot in this world.  But, if I choose to believe the scriptures, I must also trust His heart.  I must believe that despite the pain, despite the struggle, despite the trouble, I can hold on and lean into Him, taking in the full measure of the love that is in His heart.

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand
Trust His Heart.

 

 

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