bloominginidaho

Maybe it’s all this sunshine I’ve been getting. Maybe it’s just a season of life.  Maybe it’s actual change.  That’d be the best! We were recently told that we were not accepted to see anyone at the Lucinda Bateman clinic in Utah.  We were hoping that they could offer a supplemental diagnosis that could explain…

I have often, in my most vulnerable form, felt disgusted with and at myself.  In fact, my perception is that I have often disgusted others.  Mother, father, spouse, sister, children, and half of Weiser were probably disgusted with me at some point.  The mistakes I’ve made and continue to make.  Hypersensitivity, they say.  If being…

People in church would say when sumpthin’ keeps coming to you and you keep thinking on it or resonating with it, it’s some sorta “spiritual heartburn.”  Your spirit is working to sort something out or even prompting you to talk to someone and share your thoughts.  People outside of church might say it’s just where…

Recently, I had this radical experience that I feel can be only expressed as an offering of the Holy Spirit on behalf of Jesus Christ.  It was obvious and reminded me of the power of my God. Years ago, about 10 and a bit, I was working at the flower shop one early February evening. …

My shop is really going to be for sale.  I suspect it will sell this time.  There is a big lump in my throat.  A moment of self reflection:  I used to have potential.  Twenty years ago I graduated a kid with promise for a future.  A lot of people invested in me with scholarships…

I am probably in one of the more vulnerable states that I have been in.  Probably, not the best time to blog.  Probably, not the best time to share.  It is in these raw moments of life that I find my writing to be the most real and alive, however.  And, for this reason, along…

It has been a hard couple of years.  I keep saying that.  And then, new stuff comes up and it’s like, “How can it be harder?”  Isn’t it just the same level of life’ness, recycled, reabsorbed, restarted in a never ending battle of wake ups and sleeps? I’ve been on a new journey of self-awareness…

The thing about me, is that everyone gets sick of me.  Sooner or later.  Everyone has their fill.  And, I try. I have tried.  I have tried to get better.  The void just won’t fill, though.  The pain just keeps paining.  You want to believe they will choose you, they will miss you, they will…

When I first started my mental health journey, I went to a therapist who talked a lot about the blessings and curses of life.  It sort of freaked me out.  I just don’t like talk like, “curses,” ya know? It’s like witch crafty or voodoo’ey or something that gives me the eeby jeeby’s.  It almost…